Honesty

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. Philippians 2:14-18

What a command to live by! Do EVERYTHING with out complaining, so that we can stand apart from the world, just like stars shining in the night sky. Eyes will be drawn to us. Even if I'm being poured out like a drink, I'm going to rejoice, because it is not in vain. WHAT?!

So, let me fill in the gaps between the last post in this one and why these verses mean so much to me right now. First of all, there are thirty college students who are being poured out like drink offerings right now in Branson, MO, hiding the book of Philippians in our hearts. Second, the command to not complain or grumble is especially difficult because over the past few weeks, work has become hard to be motivated to "serve wholeheartedly, as if [I] were serving the Lord, not men. (Ephesians 6:7) I've begun to work really long hours and physical exhaustion is hard to overcome. People began to annoy me, even just the little things that I should be used to by now, like not making eye contact with me or asking how my day was going began to take root in my heart and make me want to grumble about all day long to anyone who would listen. But, when I would feel this bad, the Lord provided the sweetest customers. One guy about my age walked into the Ribhouse and looked me straight in my eyes and asked me how I was doing, even before I asked him! Another customer later that day asked me about my name and wanted to know where it came from. Another one wanted to hear why I was in Branson this summer and what the program was that I was a part of. Even the littlest things, the Lord uses them to bless me with. It's especially convicted me of how how I treat the people I come in contact with, both when I'm working and when I'm not. Wherever I am, I want to be a light and use opportunities to do whatever I can to make that person's day better, never worse. I'm learning, in little steps, ways to shine like stars in the universe.

Fellowship within the program is absolutely incredible. Philippians 2 also talks about being united with Christ and loving each other with His love. I've experienced this in spurts, but never in such a close environment where we are truly all striving and challenging each other in our walks with our Abba. Yesterday especially was a picture of what it is to be a daughter of the King and a small glimpse of what eternity will be like. Yesterday, we split the group, and the boys had Man Day (which was chanted and will be continued to be chanted, I'm sure, any time the boys feel particularly manly) and the girls had Woman Day. We began the day off with zumba and then moved from that to a talk about intimacy with Jesus. The story in Luke 10:38-42 of Mary and Martha touched my heart because of the realization that so much of the time, I'm just like Martha. I so badly want everything to look good and clean for Jesus, because that's what He deserves. I want others to see my life and see it as a life that has Jesus in it and that I'm squeaky clean because I have it all together and know what Jesus wants with my life. But that's not what should be happening. Jesus wants me to come before Him, vulnerable and broken and HONEST. In "A Praying Life", a book that we're reading this summer that is currently rocking my world and view point on prayer, made the point that Jesus purposefully goes out of his way to bring attention to the little children that he is around. He wants us all to be the way that little children are, honest, blunt, and fully trusting and reliant of their parents. I want to pray like a little child and see my Daddy as my protector, but also as someone that I come to with everything without shame and without fear. He wants my heart. My whole heart.

Thank you all for all your prayers for me. I feel them and am encountering Jesus in so many new ways, and I know that's due to your . He is shaping my mind and heart and my soul is being bent towards Him so that all I can do is live for Him. If you could, please lift up my coworkers and a lady named Roz who I shared the gospel with last week on an evangelism challenge. She seemed really interested, and I'm praying that she will recognize that her heart and life was only made to worship and glorify Him. I've had really good conversations with some of my coworkers, but I need prayer that the Lord will provide opportunities to show love and speak truth into their lives. It's so amazing to be used by the Lord and feel His faithfulness.

I love you all!